


Friends

by Minewtisloveminewtislife



Category: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: All guys can get pregnant, And ben is really different, Brenda and newt are siblings, Brenda is a little out of character, Brenda is ross, F/F, F/M, Friends AU, I tagged brenderesa and minewt because they are end game, M/M, Newt is Monica, Sorry it is just how everything played out, Teresa is Rachel, Teresa is a little weird at first, Thomas is joey, ben is phoebe, everyone is bi, minho is Chandler, non-binary newt, some mpreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-17 10:39:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4663530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minewtisloveminewtislife/pseuds/Minewtisloveminewtislife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A friends au where<br/>Newt is Monica<br/>Minho is Chandler<br/>Thomas is Joey<br/>Ben is Phoebe<br/>Teresa is Rachel<br/>Brenda is Ross</p><p>Send requests to me on tumblr or leave comments for which episode you want me to do and I'll write them</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, so I really wanted to do a friends au, but I can't pick which episodes and I can't do them all because there is way to many, so I wrote the first one and please please send me whatever episode you want me to write and I will I swear but please don't make me change which characters I have and if some parts of the episodes are out of character I will cut it out of the fic. Also im very sorry for spelling errors but please enjoy.

Minho, Thomas, and Ben were all at the coffee shop, trying to get newt to tell them about this guy, he was going out with.

"There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!" Newt said leaning back.

"C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!" Thomas said and newt glared at him.

"So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?" Minho asked

"Wait, does he eat chalk?" Ben asked and everyone turned to look at him.

"Just, 'cause, I don't want him to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!" Ben said and Thomas reached over to rub his shoulder.

"Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex." Newt said.

"Sounds like a date to me." Thomas said.

*************************************

"Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked." Minho says tell them about his dream.

"Oh, yeah. Had that dream." Thomas said and newt nodded.

"Then I look down, and I realize there's a phone... there." Minho says gesturing at his dick.

"Instead of...?" Thomas asked and Minho nodded.

"That's right." He said and newt covered his mouth, try not to laugh.

"Never had that dream." Thomas said and Ben nodded "Nope."

"All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me." Minho says and newt laughed "And they weren't looking at you before?!" He asked and Minho rolled his eyes.

"Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me!" Minho says and newt can't help it, he started to laugh so hard he was cried.

*************************************

"Hi." Brenda said sadly, walking inside the shop and everyone turned to look at her.

"This girl says hello, I wanna kill myself." Thomas said and Brenda smiled weakly.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" Newt asked

"I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck.." Brenda said.

"Cookie?" Minho asked, holding up a plat of peanut butter cookies.

Newt turned to explain what to the others "beth moved her stuff out today."

"Let me get you some coffee." Newt said, standing up and putting a hand on Brenda's shoulder and walking over to order a coffee.

"Thanks." Brenda said siting down.

"Ooh! Oh!" Ben said as he starts to pluck at the air just in front of Brenda.

"No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay?" Brenda said and Ben huffed.

"I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy." Brenda said

"No you don't." Newt said passing her a coffee.

"No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!" Brenda yelled

"And you never knew she was straight..." Thomas asked

"No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know!?" Brenda yelled

"Alright brenda, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?" Thomas said and Brenda nodded.

"Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!" Thomas yelled and Brenda sighed, rubbing her eyes.

"I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again!" Brenda yelled and a girl came in to the shop, in a wet wedding dress, looking around the room.

"And I just want a million dollars!" Minho yelled, extending his hand to the door hopefully.

"Teresa?!" Newt asked and the girl turned around.

"Oh God newt hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!" She said grabbing newt's hand, he nodded smile lightly.

"Can I get you some coffee?" The waitress asked and newt nodded  
"De-caff." He said pointing at Teresa

the waitress started to make the coffee so newt sat Teresa down "Okay, everybody, this is Teresa, another WICKD High survivor." Newt said and turned to Teresa "This is everybody, this is Minho, and Ben, and Thomas, and- you remember my sister brenda?"

"Hi, sure!" Teresa said, shaking everyone's hand.

"So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?" Newt asked and Teresa turned to him, looking surprised.

"Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden-" she said, when the waitress that brought her coffee "Sweet 'n' Lo?-" she said to the waitress

"I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by zart! And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: how much zart looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, I always knew he looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?'." Teresa said and turned to newt 

"So anyway I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city." Teresa finished

"Who wasn't invited to the wedding?" Newt said with a raised eyebrow.

"oh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue..." Teresa said.

*************************************

At newt's apartment, everyone was there and watching a Spanish Soap on TV, they were all trying to figure out what is going on.

"Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ, and she's really not happy about it." Newt said.

"Tuna or egg salad?  Decide!" Minho yelled, imitating one of the characters.

"I'll have whatever Christine is having." Brenda said in a deep voice, imitating the other character.

Teresa was in the kitchen, pacing on phone "Daddy, I just... I can't marry him! I'm sorry. I just don't love him." She said 

"Well, it matters to me!" She yelled

The scene on TV changed, now it is showing two women standing at the top of the stairs, Minho started to laugh "she should not be wearing those pants."

"I say push her down the stairs." Thomas said.

When Brenda, Ben, Minho and Thomas started to chant. "Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!"

Then the women on the TV is pushed down the stairs, so they all start cheering.

"C'mon Daddy, listen to me! It's like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat!" Teresa said as Brenda got up to get a drink.

"No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!" She yelled and Brenda smirked

"You can see where he'd have trouble." Brenda said, but Teresa just ignored her.

"Look Daddy, it's my life. Well maybe I'll just stay here with newt." Teresa said and everyone turned to newt.

"Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with newt..." He said.

"Well, maybe that's my decision. Well, maybe I don't need your money." She said 

"Wait!! Wait, I said maybe!!" Teresa yelled as her dad hung up.

*************************************

Teresa was breathing into a paper bag, so not to hyperventilate siting on the sofa as Ben rubbed her back

"Just breathe, breathe.. that's it. Just try to think of nice calm things..." Newt said and Ben started to sing

"Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens," he sang and newt and Teresa sat there looking at him "bluebells and sleighbells and- something with mittens... La la la la...something and noodles with string.  These are a few-" Ben sang when Teresa put her hand up to stop him. "I'm all better now."

Ben grinned and walks to the kitchen, looking at Minho and Thomas "I helped!"

"Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y'know? Independence. Taking control of your life.  The whole, 'hat' thing." Newt said as Thomas walked over and put his hand on Teresa's shoulder.

"And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Thomas. Me and Minho live across the hall. And he's away a lot." He said as newt hit him lightly.

"Tommy, stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day!"

"What, like there's a rule or something?" He asked, when The door buzzer sounds, so Minho gets up and pushes the button down.

"Please don't do that again, it's a horrible sound."

over the intercom someone said "It's, uh, it's Paul."

"Oh God, is it 6:30?  Buzz him in!" Newt said standing up.

"Who's Paul?" Thomas asked

"Paul the Wine Guy, Paul?" Brenda asked.

"Maybe." Newt said, flushed a little red.

"Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?" Minho asked.

"He finally asked you out?" Brenda asked, grabbing newt's hands.

"Yes!" He said happily.

"Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment." Minho said and newt turned, to glared at him.

"Teresa, wait, I can cancel..." Newt said try not to sound to disappointed. He has had a crush on Paul the wine guy, for so long.

"Please, no, go, that'd be fine!" She said and he smiled, turning to Brenda.

"Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?" He asked

"That'd be good..." She said in a chocked voice.

"Really?" Newt asked, he just wanted to go on his date.

"No, go on! It's Paul the Wine Guy!" Brenda said and he sighed in relief.

"What does that mean?   Does he sell it, drink it, or just complain a lot?" Ben asked 

when they heard a knock on the door, newt ran over to the door everyone lined up behind him, he opened the door to see Paul standing there, smiling.

"Hi, come in! Paul, this is." Newt said and turned to see all his friends right behind him. "...everybody, everybody, this is Paul."

"Hey! Paul! Hi! The Wine Guy! Hey!" Everyone called out and Paul smiled politely.

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?" Minho asks.

"Okay, I'm good to go" newt said, wrapping his hands around Paul's arm, shouting goodbye to his friends as they walk out into the hall.

"So Teresa, what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight?" Brenda asks.

"Well, I was kinda supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon, so nothing!" Teresa said

"Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your-" she said and stopped to think "-big lizards" she said blush running up her face

"Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Thomas and Minho are coming over to help me put together my new furniture."

"Yes, and we're very excited about it." Minho said, with a stone face

"Well actually thanks, but I think I'm just gonna hang out here tonight. It's been kinda a long day." Teresa said and Brenda nodded at her.

"Hey Ben, you wanna help?" Thomas asked

"Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to." He said and turned around to finish making his sandwich.

*************************************

Minho, Thomas, and Brenda were at her apartment, she was squatting down and reading the instructions.

"I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys. I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and- I cannot feel my legs." Brenda said and Minho nodded as him and Thomas finishing the bookcase.

Thomas bent down to picking up a leftover part "What's this?" He asked, handing it to Minho.

"I would have to say that is an 'L'-shaped bracket." Minho said, handing it back.

"Which goes where?" Thomas asked "I have no idea." Minho said.

Thomas turned to checks that Brenda was not looking, then dumps it in a plant "done" Thomas called out.

*************************************

At the Restaurant, newt and Paul were eating and talking about his ex wife.

"Oh my God!" Newt said and Paul nodded "I know, I know, I'm such an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get?" He asked and newt smiled "my sister's going through that right now, she's such a mess. How did you get through it?" He asked

"Well, you might try accidentally breaking something valuable of hers, say her-" Paul said "-leg?" Newt asked.

"That's one way! Me, I- I went for the watch." Paul laughed

"You actually broke her watch?  Wow!  The worst thing I ever did was, I-I shredded by boyfriend's favorite bath towel." Newt said, in his defense Winston was a dick.

"Ooh, steer clear of you." Paul joked

"That's right." He said taking a sip of his red wine.

*************************************

Teresa was talking on the phone and pacing all around the apartment.

"Zart, I'm sorry... I am so sorry... I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about you making love with your socks on, but it isn't... it isn't, it's about me, and I ju-" she said when the phone beeped and she dialed again 

"Hi, machine cut me off again... anyway...look, look, I know that some girl is going to be incredibly lucky to become Mrs. Zart Finkel, but it isn't me, it's not me.  And not that I have any idea who me is right now, but you just have to give me a chance too..." She said The machine cuts her off again.

*************************************

At the Restaurant newt and Paul where still talking.

"Ever since she walked out on me, I, uh..." He said flushed red.

"What?....." Newt asked

"No, it's, it's more of a fifth date kinda revelation." He said 

"Oh, so there is gonna be a fifth date?" Newt asked with a smirk.

"Isn't there?" He asked

"Yeah... yeah, I think there is." Newt said smiling "What were you gonna say?"

"Well, ever-ev-... ever since she left me, um, I haven't been able to, uh, perform." He said as newt took a sip of his drink. "...Sexually." He finished and newt spit his wine all over him in shock 

"Oh God, oh God, I am sorry... I am so sorry..." He said 

"It's okay..." Paul said try to dab the wine out of his shirt.

"I know being spit on is probably not what you need right now. Um... how long?" Newt asks.

"Two years." He said, looking at his feet.

"Wow! I'm-I'm-I'm glad you smashed her watch!" Newt said

"So you still think you, um... might want that fifth date?" Paul asked shyly.

"Yeah. Yeah, I do." He said smiling.

*************************************

The next morning Minho, Thomas, and Teresa were having breakfast at the apartment.

"Isn't this amazing? I mean, I have never made coffee before in my entire life." Teresa said, pouring coffee in thomas' cup.

"That is amazing." Minho said

"Yeah, Congratulations." Thomas said.

"Y'know, I figure if I can make coffee, there isn't anything I can't do." Teresa said sitting down, at the table.

"No, if can invade Poland, there isn't anything I can't do." Minho said, correcting her.

"Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something..." Thomas said taking a sip of coffee and pouring the rest of it in the plant and turned to Minho who mouthed 'that's horrible'

Thomas nodded "although actually I'm really not that hungry..." He said  
When newt walked out from his room "Morning. Good morning." Everyone said, when Paul followed newt out of his room.

"Morning." He said

"Morning, Paul." Thomas said, with a shit eating grin.

"Hello, Paul." Teresa said pouring herself more coffee "Hi, Paul, is it?" Minho asked, receiving a glare from newt.

Newt and Paul where walking over to the door "thank you!  Thank you so much!" Paul whispered "Stop!" Newt replied "We'll talk later."

"Yeah." He said and kissed "Thank you." He whispered, let himself out.

"That wasn't a real date?! What the hell do you do on a real date?" Minho asked

"Shut up" newt replied, walking over to the coffee pot.

"All right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers,... it doesn't make much of a difference..." Minho said, standing up going to the door.

"So, like, you guys all have jobs?" Teresa asked.

"Yeah, we all have jobs. See, that's how we buy stuff." Newt said and Teresa nodded

"Yeah, I'm an actor." Thomas said

"Wow! Would I have seen you in anything?" She asked.

"I doubt it. Mostly regional work." Thomas said

"Oh wait, wait, unless you happened to catch the Reruns' production of Pinocchio, at the little theater in the park." Newt said, getting a hard glare from Thomas.

"Look, it was a job all right?" He said

"'Look, Gippetto, I'm a real live boy.'" Minho said and Thomas stood up

"I will not take this abuse." He said, opening the door.

"You're right, I'm sorry." Minho said when he suddenly bursting into song and dances out of the door. "Once I was a wooden boy, a little wooden boy..."

"You should both know, that he's a dead man." Thomas said, to newt and Teresa and Starts running after Minho.

"So how you doing today? Did you sleep okay? Talk to zart?" Newt asked "I'm really sorry, I can't stop smiling."

"I can see that. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth." Teresa said.

"I know, he's just so, so... Do you remember, you and Tony DeMarco?"

"Oh, yeah." Teresa said 

"Well, it's like that. With feelings." He said

"Oh wow. Are you in trouble."

"Big time!" He said.

"Want a wedding dress? Hardly used." Teresa asked she knows he wears women's clothing from time to time, after all he's doesn't have a gender.

"I think we are getting a little ahead of selves here. Okay. Okay. I am just going to get up, go to work and not think about him all day. Or I'm just gonna get up and go to work." He said and Teresa nodded

"Oh, wish me luck!" Teresa said

"What for?" He asked putting on a sweater.

"I'm gonna go get one of those job things." She says

"Best of luck" he called out, leaving.

*************************************

Newt was at work, he's a chef. When his friend Frannie walked into the kitchen.

"Hey, newt!" She called out

"Hey Frannie, welcome back! How was Florida?" He asked.

"You had sex, didn't you?" She asked, with wide eyes.

"How do you do that?" Newt asked

"Oh, I hate you, I'm pushing my Aunt Roz through Parrot Jungle and you're having sex!  So? Who?" She asked and he smiled

"You know Paul?"

"Paul the Wine Guy? Oh yeah, I know Paul." She laughed, starting to cut up a green pepper.

"You mean you know Paul like, I know Paul?" He asked and she nodded.

"Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul. Y'know before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years." She said.

*************************************

They were all siting at the coffee shop, except for Teresa.

Thomas was sitting on the arm of the couch "Of course it was a line!"

"Why?! Why? Why, why would anybody do something like that?" Newt asked

"I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated than 'to get you into bed'." Brenda said.

"I hate men!  I hate men!" He yelled

"Your men" Thomas said 

"no I'm not I just prefer your pronouns" he said slumping back into the chair.

"Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?" He asked

"All right, c'mere, gimme your feet." Ben says, as he starts massaging newt's feet.

"I just thought he was nice, y'know?" He said

Thomas bursts out laughing again "I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!" He laughed.

Newt pushes him off the sofa as Teresa comes in with a shopping bag.

"Guess what?" She asks

"You got a job?" Brenda asked

"Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing! I was laughed out of twelve interviews today." Teresa said happily.

"And yet you're surprisingly upbeat." Minho says

"You would be too if you found John and David boots on sale, fifty percent off!" Teresa yelled.

"Oh, how well you know me..." Minho said.

"They're my new 'I don't need a job, I don't need my parents, I've got great boots' boots!" She said.

"How'd you pay for them?" Newt asked and her face drops.

"Uh, credit card."

"And who pays for that?" He asks

"Um... my... father." She said shyly

*************************************

Later, at the apartment everyone was sitting around the kitchen table, with Teresa's credit cards spread out on the table along with a pair of scissors.

"Oh God, come on you guys, is this really necessary?  I mean, I can stop charging anytime I want." Teresa said.

"C'mon, you can't live off your parents your whole life." Newt said.

"I know that. That's why I was getting married." Teresa said

"Give her a break, it's hard being on your own for the first time." Ben said.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. I remember when I first came to this city. I was fourteen. My mom had just killed herself and my step-dad was back in prison, and I got here, and I didn't know anybody. And I ended up living with this albino guy who was, like, cleaning windshields outside port authority, and then he killed himself, and then I found aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you feel." He said as Teresa looked at him, with wide eyes.

"The word you're looking for is 'Anyway'..." Brenda told her and Teresa nodded

"All right, you ready?" Newt asked

"No.  No, no, I'm not ready!  How can I be ready?  'Hey, You ready to jump out the airplane without your parachute?' Come on, I can't do this!" She said.

"You can, I know you can!" Newt said

"I don't think so." She said

"Come on, you made coffee!   You can do anything!" Brenda said as Minho slowly tries to hide the now dead plant, from that morning when he and Thomas poured their coffee into it.

"C'mon, cut. Cut, cut, cut,..." Brenda starts chanting and everyone joins in "Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut..." They say and she cuts one and they all cheer.

"Y'know what?  I think we can just leave it at that.  It's kinda like a symbolic gesture..." She said, putting the scissors down.

"Teresa! That was a library card!" Newt yelled as they all start to chant again. "Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.."

Teresa starts to cutting up her cards again when Minho says "Y'know, if you listen closely, you can hear a thousand retailers scream."

When she finishes cutting them up and they all start cheering.

"Welcome to the real world! It sucks. You're gonna love it!" Newt said.

*************************************

Newt, Brenda, and Teresa were sitting down at the apartment, watching a movie, that night.

"Well, that's it" newt said, getting up and turning to Brenda "You gonna crash on the couch?" He asked.

"No. No, I gotta go home sometime." She said

"You gonna be okay?" He asked "Yeah."

"Hey newt, look what I just found on the floor." Teresa said holding up a watch, newt smiled "What?" She asked.

"That's Paul's watch. You just put it back where you found it. Goodnight, everybody." Newt said and Teresa set the watch back down on the floor.

"Goodnight." Brenda and Teresa said to newt as he walked to his room, stomping down hard on the watch.

"Mmm." Brenda said reaching for the last cookie, at the same time Teresa did "Oh, no-" she said

"Sorry-"

"No no no, go-"

"No, you have it, really, I don't want it-" Teresa said

"Split it?" Brenda asked

"Okay." Teresa nodded.

"Okay." She said pulling the Oreo apart "You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you." She said and Teresa eyes widened.

"Really" Teresa asked and Brenda nodded.

"And Listen, do you think- and try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of a factor here- but do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime? Maybe?" Brenda asked.

"Yeah, yeah I think so." Teresa said 

"Okay... okay, maybe I will..." Brenda said

"Goodnight Brenda." Teresa said leaning over and kissing her cheek.

"Goodnight." Brenda said watching Teresa walk into her room.

She gets up and puts on her jacket, leaving to start her walk home.

*************************************

Everyone was siting in the coffee shop the next day.

"I can't believe what I'm hearing here." Thomas said.

"I can't believe what I'm hearing here..." Ben sang copying Thomas.

"What? I-I said you had a-"

"What I said you had..." Ben sang again

Newt turned to Ben "Would you stop?"

"Oh, was I doing it again?" He asked.

"Yes!" They all yelled and he put his hands up in surrender.

"I said that you had a nice butt, it's just not a great butt." Newt said

"Oh, you wouldn't know a great butt if it came up and bit ya." Thomas said.

"There's an image." Brenda said and Minho nodded at her, when Teresa walks up with a pot of coffee "Would anybody like more coffee?"

"Did you make it, or are you just serving it?" Minho asked.

"I'm just serving it." She said 

"Yeah. Yeah, I'll have a cup of coffee." They all said, holding out there cups.


	2. The one with ben's uterus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you know this was 4x11 and I'm sorry this took so long but please enjoy

Today Ben was with his brother Frank and Alice, his wife, at the coffee shop.

"Oh my God! I can’t believe my little brother is married!" He said pulling Frank into a hug.

"Oh I know!!" Frank said and him and Alice both squealed happily.

"You guys, why didn’t you tell me you were eloping?" Ben asked letting go.

"Cause it just sorta happened, y’know we were at the courthouse, we were having lunch…"

"Wait, wait, why were you at the courthouse?" He asked

"We were having lunch. Yeah and then all of the sudden we were like, 'Hey! Y'know, we’re here, having lunch let’s get married!'" Frank said smiling brightly.

"Wow, a year and a half ago I didn’t even know I had a brother, and now I have a sister too." Ben said and They all hug, when Frank and Alice start kissing. 

"Okay. Okay. Stop it, don’t. So, I gotta get you a gift now. Is there anything you need?" Ben asked as the two pulled themselves off each other.

"Uhh, yeah." Frank said scratching the back of his neck.

"We’ve been trying to get pregnant, uh pretty much ever since we got engaged, we thought we’d get a jump on things, y’know no one’s getting any younger." Alice said and Ben nodded

"See the thing is umm, we’re not able to y’know, uh, conceive." Frank said rubbing his wife's hand.

"And we’ve tried everything, we’ve seen a bunch of doctors."

"Yeah, and they-and they say that our-that our only chance to have a baby is that if they take my sperm, her egg and put it together in a dish and then put it into another person. So we were wondering if you could be the person that we could put it into." Frank said Ben leaned back in to the chair shocked.

"That’s a really nice gift. I was thinking of like a gravy boat." He said deadpan.

*************************************

At the apartment newt, Teresa, and Minho were trying to throw playing cards into a vase, on the table when the door swung open and Brenda and Thomas walked inside.

"Hey! You guys! Check it out, check it out!" Thomas said gesturing to his blue blazer "Guess which job I got."

"I don’t know, but Donald Trump wants his blue blazer black." Minho said stumbling on his words as everyone turned with there eyes locked on him.

"What?" Brenda asked smiling

"Blue blazer back. He-he wants it back." Minho said, try to cover up his mess.

"But you-you said black. Why would he want his blue blazer black?" Teresa asked grinning brightly

"Well, you-you know what I meant."

"No, you messed it up. You’re stupid." Newt said poking Minho's chest.

"So what job did you get tom?" Minho asked, back up from newt.

"Oh, ah, tour guide at the museum. Yeah, Brenda got it for me."

"Well, how can you be a tour guide, don’t you have to be a dinosaur expert or something?" Teresa asked

"No, not really. They give you all the information, it’s uh, it’s like memorizing a script." Thomas said putting his hands up and mimicking a tour guide "And on your left, you have Tyrannosaurus Rex, a carnivore from the Jurassic period." Thomas said and everyone started to clapping "Great!! That’s great!" Newt said.

"Uh actually Thomas, it’s the Cretaceous period." Brenda said putting her hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah but, I can pronounce Jurassic." Thomas said when Ben walked inside the apartment "Hey!!"

"Hey!" They called out

"Guess what. Frank Jr., and Alice got married!" He said "Oh my God!!" Newt said.

"Yeah yeah And! And, they’re gonna have a baby!" He said "And! And, they want me to grow it for them in my stomach." He said and everyone could only look at him, to shocked to say anything, when Brenda finally broke the silence.

"My God!" She said 

"Are you serious?" Newt asked

"Yeah" Ben said nodding.

"You’re really thinking about having sex with your brother?!" Thomas asked

"Ewww! And "Oh no!" It’s—they just want me to be the surrogate. It’s her-it’s her egg and his sperm, and I’m-I’m just the oven, it’s totally their bun." Ben said his face scrunched up in disgust.

"What did you tell them?" Newt asked

"Well, they said that I had to think about it first, but what is there to think about? I’m gonna be giving them the greatest gift you can possibly give." Ben said, siting down at the table.

"You’re gonna be carrying their baby and give them a Sony Play Station?" Minho asked.

"Honey, this really is an incredible thing to do for them, but there are things to think about." Teresa said

"Yeah, like you’re gonna be pregnant. I mean pregnant." Newt said.

"I know!"

"Ben, you’re talking about putting your body through an awful lot, I mean morning sickness, uhh, labour, and it’s all for somebody else!" Brenda said

"Yeah, what’s your point?" 

"Well, the stuff I just mentioned." She said

"Wow! I don’t know if I could ever do that. I always figured the first time I had a baby was with somebody I love and that baby would be a…keeper." Teresa said

"Y'know you guys were a lot more supportive when I wanted to make denim furniture." Ben said with a huff.

"No, ben, listen, if you decide to do this, we’ll be supportive like crazy." Thomas said

"Yeah." They all said

"We just want you to think it through." Newt said

"Yeah, honey, maybe you can talk to somebody who’s had a baby. Like your mom?" Teresa offered

"My mom never gave birth. Oh! But my birth mom did." He said standing up.

*************************************

At the coffee shop Minho and his new girlfriend Kathy were kissing and newt and Teresa where siting on the sofa

"Umm" Kathy hummed moves her hand’s down to cup Minho's butt "I love this touchy. Can I take it to work with me?" She asked

"Oh, yeah, sure, it’s not mine anyway. It can with the pants." He said 

"Oh!" Kathy laughed, kissing him again and leaving.

"I am so jealous." Newt said to Minho 

"You guys are really right…there aren’t you?" Teresa asked

"Yes. Right where?" Minho asked

"In the beginning where y’know it’s all sex and talking and sex and talking and…" newt said happily.

"Yeah, you-you gotta love the talking." Minho said with a small blush on his face.

"And the sex?" Newt asked

"All right, we haven’t had sex yet. Okay, what’s the big deal? Y’know? This is special, and I want our love to grow until we move on to the next level." Minho said 

"Oh, Minho that is so nice." Teresa said 

"That is really nice…lying! No way is that the reason!" Brenda laughed.

"Why? Just because you’re not mature enough to understand something like that?!" Teresa asked

"No because Minho isn't" Brenda said.

"Yeah, she’s right, I’m totally lying." Minho said slumping down into the couch.

"Then what is it?" Newt asked

"Well, Kathy’s last boyfriend was Thomas."

"And you’re afraid you won’t be able to…fill his shoes." Brenda said

"No, I’m afraid I won’t be able to make love as well as him."

"Yeah, I was going for the metaphor" Brenda said, seeing as they are in public.

"Yes, and I was saying the actual words." Minho said

"I just can't believe Minho god of sex is worried about a girl liking having sex with Thomas more" newt said

"Its not like that and I am god of sex. its just if Thomas tries for a girl in bed instead of just for him, he's way better" Minho said

"Sweetie, with you it’s gonna be different. The sex is gonna be great, ‘cause you-you guys are in love." Newt said 

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!" Teresa said putting her hand on his shoulder.

"Just go for it Minho."

"Yeah, you should." 

"Yeah, you should, really."

"Go on."

"All right, all right, I’ll go sleep with my girlfriend. But I’m just doing it for you guys." Minho said getting up and leaving the shop.

*************************************

At the museum, Thomas was giving a tour to a bunch of school kids.

"Okay, now the Mastodon is from the semi-late Jurassic period." Thomas said pointing at an old fossils when some kid asked "Isn’t the Mastodon from the Pliocene Epic?"

"Shhh! This is a museum, no talking" Thomas said leading the kids down the hall "Right down here" he did Motions to a fossilised dinosaur foot. "we have a large foot." He said when he saw Brenda working in one of the display cases. "Uhh, and over here we have Brenda despian." Thomas said knocking on the glass "Everyone wave ‘Hi’ to Brenda. Brenda is one of our most important scientists, look at her, hard at work." He said right when Brenda does the old 'Putting a cigarette in your ear and pulling it out of your mouth trick.' "Okay, moving right along. Come on." Thomas said, moving the kids along.

*************************************

Ben was outside his mother Phoebe's house house, when he knock on the door.

"It’s open! Come in!" He heard her yell.

"Hi!" He said putting his coat on the sofa.

"Hi!" Phoebe said smiling at her

"I’m sorry, I’m late."

"Oh, that’s okay, it gave me time to finish glazing my nipples." She said

"Wow! You really go all out when you’re expecting company." He said

"No, I was working on my pottery." She said gesturing to a naked sculpture.

"Oh! Ooh! Oh, I didn’t know that you did…pot." He said

"Well, yeah, mostly nudes. It combines my two passions, pottery and erotica." She said sitting

"Ooh, erotiery!" He said.

"Hey! Okay! Well thanks for coming out to see me. I just-I just thought it would be a very good idea to talk about this baby stuff in person. Y’know…" she said pulling him down to sit next to her.

"Okay."

"I really don’t think it’s a very good idea, Ben." She said, why does everyone think that.

"Why not?" He asked

"Well, because you’d be giving up a baby, and I-I really don’t—I don’t know if there’s anything I can say that could make you understand the pain of giving up a baby. So, umm," she said leaning over the sofa to pick up a puppy out the box siting there.

"Oh no! No-no! I understand the pain! Don’t-don’t hurt the puppy." Ben said covering his mouth.

"No-no-no, the-the puppy’s yours." She said, handing him that puppy.

"Oh, I get a puppy!!"

"Well, yeah! I mean yeah, but only for three days." She said

"Why?"

"I realise I don’t have any right to start get all parenty on you and everything now, but umm" she said looking over to see that he wasn't even paying attention and he was mimicking the puppy. "uhh… Ben, would you please look at me and not the puppy, it’s very important."

"Okay." He said

"I mean, I know what I’m talking about. I gave up two babies, and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies, that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies. I just think that, it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life. So, how ever hard it is to give up this puppy, it would be like a million times harder to give up a child." She said to see Ben was playing with the puppy again, and not listening "I really shouldn’t have given you the puppy first." She said

"All right, I’m sorry." He said putting the puppy down.

*************************************

At the museum’s worker cafeteria, Thomas was eating lunch with the rest of the tour guides when another tour guide tried to sit down in a seat Thomas saved for Brenda.

"Uhh, do you mind sitting there. I’m-I’m saving this for my friend Brenda." Thomas said 

"You mean Dr. Despian?" The woman asked

"Doctor? Wow! I didn’t know she had a nickname." He said

"Oh, she won’t sit here. Only the people in the white coats sit over there" she said pointing to the other side of the room. "and only the people in the blue blazers sit here."

"Well, how-how come?" He asked

"That’s just the way it is"

"That’s crazy." Hr said.

"Maybe it’s crazy in a perfect world, a world without lab coats and blazers, but you not in a perfect world, you in a museum now. See that scientist in the classes, he and I used to play together all the time in grade school, but now…" she said and turned around "Peter! Hey, Peter! It’s me Rhonda! From PS-129! I shared my puddin’ which you man! I gave you my Snack Pack! " she yelled and turned back to Thomas "See, he pretend he don’t even here me!"

"I-I think everybody’s pretending they don’t hear you. Anyway, look, I don’t know about you and your jackets and your separate tables, but Brenda is one of my best friends, and if I save her a seat, I’m telling you, she will sit in it!" He said when Brenda entered and went over to the white table "Brenda! Brenda! Over here, dude! I-I saved you seat."

"That’s okay, I’m cool over here. I’ll catch up with you later, tom." Brenda said siting down at the white coat table.

"I can't believe that" Thomas said when another woman enters without a coat or blazer and tried to sit at the ‘blue’ table.

"Op, this is saved."Rhonda said and turned to Thomas "Gift shop." She said pointing at the women.

*************************************

Thomas was at the apartment, eating dinner and newt and Teresa are sitting on the couch watch some movie when Brenda walks in "Hey, uh, I’m really, really sorry about what happened in the cafeteria today." She said

"It’s no big deal. Hey, y’know, you do what you gotta do. Right?" Thomas said taking another bite of his sandwich.

"But hey, it’s not just me, I mean the scientists and the tour guides never sit together." Brenda said trying to explain "Whatever." Thomas replied.

"It’s like that everywhere, Tom! Okay, newt, back me up here. Where you work the uh, waiters eat with the waiters, right? And the chefs eat with the other chefs, right?" She asks.

"I eat by myself in the alley because I hate everybody." He said 

"Look, Bren, really it’s-it’s no big deal. Y’know you wear a white coat, I wear a blue blazer, if that means we can’t be friends at work, then so be it. Y’know, hey I understand. Y’know? Hey, when I’m in a play and you’re in the audience, I don’t talk to you, right? So it’s y’know, it’s uh, it’s cool. I’ll see you tomorrow." He says leaving.

"Yeah, when we’re in the audience he doesn’t talk to us, but he does wave." Teresa said, Brenda sat down at the table putting her head in her hands, sighing.

*************************************

The next morning, at the apartment Ben is there with his puppy and is trying to sing it to sleep when Minho enters.

"Hi." Minho said

"Hey!" Newt called out

"Why is Ben singing to Carl Mulden?" He asked

"Ooh, y’know what, I think it’s time for puppy to go out again. Come on, let’s go to the balcony." Ben said and newt sat up "What?!"

"Umm, the street. Come on, let’s go to the street. Ooh, listen, don’t go onto the balcony until after I get back." Ben said leaving.

"So, did you do it?" Newt asked Minho.

"Yes, yes, we had sex." He said sitting down.

"Uh-oh, it was bad?" Teresa asked

"It was fine, y’know? But she didn’t agree with me as strongly as she agreed with Thomas. She was more like, 'I see you point, I’m all right with it.'" 

"Well, it was the first time. Y’know, there’s not always a lot of agreement the first time." Newt said

"Yeah, not girls anyway, guys agree like that." She said snapping her fingers 

"Look, you have to help me! Okay? I mean, I don't know what to do with a woman anymore, y’know, I know where everything goes, it’s always nice. But I need to know what makes it go from nice to, 'My God! Somebody’s killing her in there!'" Minho said 

"Maybe you should just try with men" newt offered

"I’m gonna show you something a lot of guys don’t know. Newt, give me that pad of paper, please? All right. Now…" Teresa said scribbling down on the paper

"Look, you don’t have to draw an actual wo—whoa! She’s hot!" Minho said

"Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones." She said and starts labelling them "You got one, two three, four" said Minho was shocked to find out there’s more than three and she just kept going ", five, six, and seven!"

"There are seven?!" Minho said shocked

Minho pointed to one "That’s one?" He asks

"It’s kind of an important one!" Teresa said

"Oh, y’know-y’know what, I was looking at it upside down." Minho said 

"Now, most guys will hit uh, 1-2-3 and then go to 7 and set up camp." She said

"That-that’s bad?

"Well if you go to Disneyland, you don’t spend the whole day on the Materhorn." Teresa asks

"Well you might if it were anything like 7!" Minho says and she stares back at him unimpressed.

*************************************

The next day at the museum cafeteria, Thomas was eating with the tour guides as Brenda entered  
When one of the doctors stood up "Dr. Despian, there’s a seat over here." He said motions to an empty chair at the ‘white’ table.

"Thank you, Dr. Phillips, but I’m having my lunch at this table, here in the middle. I’m having lunch right here, with my good friend Thomas, if he’ll sit with me."

Thomas smiled standing up "I will sit with you Dr. Despian." He said going over to his table and shaking her hand.

"Y'know, we work in a museum of natural history, and yet there is something unnatural about the way we eat lunch. Now, I look around this cafeteria, and y’know what I see, I see-I see division. Division, between people in white coats and people in blue blazers, and I ask myself, 'My God why?!' Now, I say we shed these-these coats that separate us, and we get to know the people underneath." She yelled taking off her coat and throws it down. 

"I’m Brenda! I’m divorced, and I have a kid!" She yelled so Thomas stands up, and throws his coat on the floor "I’m Thomas! I’m an actor! I don’t know squat about dinosaurs!" He yells

When another tour guide stands up and removing his coat "I’m Ted, and I just moved here a month ago, and New York really scares me."

"All right, there you go!" Brenda yelled

"Yeah, you hang in there Teddy!" Thomas yells.

When one of the older Scientist stands up taking off his coat "I’m Andrew, and I didn’t pay for this pear."

"Okay, good-good for you." Brenda 

"I’m Rhonda," the guide from yesterday yelled "and these aren’t real!" She yelled motioning to her boobs 

Brenda and Thomas looked at each other, shocked

"Wow, Rhonda." Brenda said when another Scientist stood up "i’m Scott."

"Yeah, okay, Scott!" Thomas said

"And I need to flip the light switch on and off 17 times before I leave a room or my family will die." Scott said "Jesus" Brenda muttered.

*************************************

At the coffee shop, Ben, with the puppy, newt, and Teresa were all sitting on the couch.

"My mom’s gonna be here any minute. I can’t do this, I can’t give him up. Yes—no, I can. I don’t want to. But I can. No." Ben said fighting with himself.

"Oo, I can’t watch this, it’s like Sophie’s Choice." Teresa said

"Y’know, I never saw that." Newt said

"Ooh, it was only okay." Teresa said waving her hand to dismiss it.

"Ooh, I can’t do this. My mom was right. If I can’t-if I can’t give him up, then there’s no way I can give up a baby. Ohh, God, Frank and Alice are gonna be so crushed. What-what else, what else can I give ‘em—a kidney!" Ben said when Frank and Alice walking into the shop "Hi!" Alice said

"Uhh, we were just in the neighbourhood, so…" she said

"Yeah, so we just thought we’d stop by and let you know there’s still no pressure." Frank said

"None. But if there was something you wanted to tell us, we’re just gonna be right over there having coffee." She said pointing to the counter

"Okay." Ben smiled when Frank noticed the puppy "Oh, who’s this little guy?!" He asked 

"Oh! Ooh! Umm!" Ben said handing him the puppy.

"Oh, he’s so cute, he reminds me of my old dog, Tumour." Frank said

"You are so precious, I could just take you home." Alice said petting the puppy

"Hey, why don’t you?" Ben offered

"Are you serious?" Frank asked

"Uh-huh, yeah!" Ben said nodded his head.

"Oh, thanks." Alice said shocked

"What are you doing?" Newt asked

"No, I’m really okay with this. Y’know why? ‘Cause look at them, and I made that, so… I know it’s gonna be like a million times harder to give up a baby but, oh my God, it’s gonna feel like a million times better, right? I wanna do this." He said walking over to Frank and Alice "I wanna carry your baby." He said smiling brightly.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! Thank you so much! You don’t know what this means to us! Oh!" Alice said

"Oh my God, I think I’m gonna cry!" Frank said pulling his brother in for a hug.

"This is gonna be so great." Newt said when bens mom came into the shop "Hi! What’s going on?" She asked

"Oh, I-I gave them the puppy and it made them so happy that I decided I’m gonna carry their baby." Ben said and his mother's face was pure shock "But Ben…"

"No-no-no, I know, but you and I are different people though, and this is a totally different situation, and I know that I am not gonna regret this." He said

"Oh, I-I-I understand all that, but it’s just—that was my puppy." She said and Ben turned shocked "Oh shit!" He muttered.

*************************************

Newt and Teresa were at the apartment sitting at the table, going through mail.

"Would you ever be a surrogate for anyone?" Newt asked

"It depends on who asked." Teresa said

"What if I asked?"

"Oh, newt, sure" she said

"Really?" He asked

"Yes." Teresa said and paused "You’re not asking are you?"

"No."

"Yes! Totally!" She said when Kathy ran in, hair all out of place, in Minho's shirt, and hugs Teresa tightly.

"Oh! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Yes! Thank you!" She said then started running back to Minho and Thomas' apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please send me more requestes


	3. The one where Ben hates PBS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long I do apologise but here its is this is my favorite episode and this has minewt and a little bit of past brenderesa, this is episode 5x05 and please enjoy

Teresa had just gotten home and was going through the mail when she found something that was newt's, she innocently goes over and knocked on his closed bedroom door.

Newt was waiting for Minho in new black lingerie, they have been together for months but no one knew. He heard a knock on the door "Come in. I've been waiting for you." He said he turned his head but instead of see Minho, he saw Teresa who wasn't suppose to be home, she walked in the room holding a pile of mail.

"Hi! I just wanna-" she said, looking up to see newt laying on the bed "Ahhh!!! Oh my God!" She screamed running out of his room "Oh my God!" She was still yelling in the kitchen.

Newt pulled on a robe and followed her out, putting his hands up in surrender "Okay, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I-I-I was um, I was taking a nap." Newt blurted out.

"Since when do you take naps in that nice of lingerie. Oh God newt, tell me you were waiting for a guy! Please tell me you were waiting for a guy!" She yelled her eyes still closed.

"Yes. Yes, I was. A guy. From work." Newt said, that was away better excuse why didn't he think of that.

"I'm seeing a guy from work! Ha!" Newt said and Teresa opened her eyes a bit surprised when she Gasped "That cute waiter guy from your restaurant, the one that looks like a non-threatening Ray Liotta?" She asked, if he was being honest, he had no fucking clue who she was talking about but he just started nodding, his heart pumping way to fast "Uh-huh, that one!" Newt said. 

"Y'know what, just give me a second and I'll be out of your hair. I'm just gonna grab a jacket. When I get back, I want every little detail." Teresa said smiling, newt hadn't been dating anyone for a very long time and his heart ached for how much she cared, when There was a knock on the door and Teresa gave him a wide smile "Maybe that's him." She said Going to answer the door.

"Okay, umm, okay, umm…" newt said trying to come up for some excuse as to why it was Minho at the door.

Teresa opened the door and Thomas and Brenda walked inside the apartment.

"It's just Thomas and Brenda." Newt said with relief.

"Why aren't you guys at the movie?" Teresa asked and Brenda walked passed her on the phone.

"Well, we were! But Brenda was talking so loud on her phone so they threw us out!" Thomas yelled pointing at Brenda.

"I had to talk loud because the movie was loud!" Brenda yelled at him, she just went through a really bad break up if you can call it that.

she was with a British girl named Sonya they dated for a year and then decided to get married then at the wedding Brenda said Teresa's name at the alter instead Sonya's.

Brenda and Teresa dated for awhile, Brenda had a crush on her since high school and even though they both act like they've moved on everyone knows neither of them really have.

Thomas turned to newt and Teresa "He's talking to London!" 

"But why?! Did she get in touch with Sonya?" Newt asked, Sonya had been avoiding Brenda for 2 months now.

Thomas face became softer "Well no, not yet. She's calling everyone on Sonya's side of the family hoping that someone will help her get in touch with her." He said sadly, they all really felt for Brenda.

They all turned to Brenda who was still on the phone "I-I-I don't care if I said some other girl's name you prissy, old twit!" Brenda yelled

Thomas clasped a hand on her shoulder "Brenda! Way to suck up to the family." He said with a shit eating grin.

Minho came into the apartment, happily, with a bottle of champagne, still thinking that newt is the only one there "Ha-ha-ha-" he cut himself off, seeing everyone there "-enh-enh. I'm so glad you guys are all here! My office finally got wrinkle free fax paper!" Minho yelled and newt just smiled sympathetically.

*************************************

The next morning, Ben, Minho, Brenda, and newt were all eating breakfast when Thomas came in wearing a tux "Hey!" He said with a grin when Minho jumped up and pointed at Thomas "Oh no-no-no-no-no-no, vomit tux! No-no, vomit tux!" Minho yelled "Don't worry, I had it dry-cleaned." Thomas said poring himself a cup of coffee.

"Vomit tux? Who vomited on-" newt said but cut himself off "y'know what, I don't want to know, what you up to tommy?" He asked

"Well, I'm doing this telethon thing on TV and my agent got me a job as co-host!" Thomas said, he was an actor.

"Oh that's great!" Newt said "A little uh, good deed for PBS and a little TV exposure." Thomas said

"Ugh, PBS!" Ben grumbled "What's wrong with PBS?" Newt asked.

"Ugh, what's right with them?" Ben replied.

"Why don’t you like PBS?" Thomas asked sitting down. 

"Okay, 'cause right after my mom killed herself, I was just in this really bad place, y'know personally. So, I just thought that it'd make me feel better if I wrote to Sesame Street, 'cause they were so nice when I was a little kid! No one ever wrote back." Ben said.

"Well y'know a lot of those Muppets don't have thumbs." Minho offered and newt hit his shoulder to shut him up.

"All I got was a lousy key chain! And by that time I was living in a box. I didn't have keys!" Ben yelled getting even more upset.

"I'm sorry ben, I just, y'know, I just wanted to do a good deed." Thomas said, trying to make Ben feel better.

"This isn't a good deed, you just wanted to get on TV! This is totally selfish." Ben yelled back.

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What?" Thomas asked "you heard me" Ben yelled.

"Well when you do good deeds does it made you feel really good?" Thomas asked "Yeah. So?" Ben asked "It made you feel good, so that makes it selfish. Look, there's no unselfish good deeds, sorry." Thomas said putting his cup in the sink.

"Yes there are! There are totally good deeds that are selfless." Ben said "Well, may I ask for one example?" Thomas asked crossing his arms and standing on one side of Minho "Yeah, it's…" Ben said thinking "no you may not!" Ben yelled back standing up, on the other side of Minho "That's because all people are selfish." Thomas said "Are you calling me selfish?!" Ben yelled 

"Are you calling you people?" Thomas asked and Minho rolls his eyes. "Yeah, well sorry to burst that bubble, but selfless good deeds don't exist. Okay? And you know the deal on Santa Clause right?" Thomas asked.

"I'm gonna find a selfless good dead. I'm gonna beat you, you evil genius." Ben said and newt chocked on his coffee, someone actually call Thomas a genius.

Brenda's phone starts rings and she quickly answers it. "Hello" she says

"Hello, Brenda?" Sonya asks on the other line.

"Sonya? Sonya! Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Sonya!" She yells and picks up a lamp and handed it to Minho, for no reason. "It's Sonya everyone! Shush-shush-shhst!" She yelled again "Hi!" She says as calmly as she could.

"Brenda, I'm only ringing to say stop harassing my relatives. Good-bye!" Sonya says about to hang up.

"No wait! Look, wait! Okay, you can hang up, but I'm gonna keep calling! I'm gonna, I'm gonna call everyone in England if that's what it takes to get you to talk to me!" Brenda begged

"Really? About what?" Sonya asked surprised "Look you're my wife. We're-we're married. Y'know? I-I love you. I-I really miss you" Brenda said.

"I miss you too. Well, at least I think I do." Sonya replied, Brenda walked on to the balcony to speak with her privately.

"Hey, Thomas, when you said the deal with Santa Clause, you meant?" Ben asked 

"That he doesn't exist." Thomas said "Right." Ben said and turns away from his with wide eyes from shock.

*************************************

Teresa, newt and Minho were all siting in the coffee shop next to there apartment building when Teresa asked "So Minho, have you heard about newt's secret boyfriend?" Newt felt all the blood rush up to his face.

"Uhh, yeah. he uh, he uh, he uh might've mentioned him." Minho said

"So newt, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man?" Teresa asked "Ohh, he's really shy. I-I don’t think he's up to meeting everyone yet." Newt said, still bright red.

"Yeah, I don't think he's up to meeting everyone yet." Minho said to Teresa

"I don’t care! I wanna meet this guy who's the best sex he's ever had!" Teresa said and Minho eyes widened and broke into a huge grin "Really?! That's what you heard?" He asked and turned to newt "You said that?" He asked, newt was going to kill him.

"I might've said that." He said and Minho laughed "Why is that funny?" Newt asked.

"Because I'm very happy for him!" Minho said, proud of himself "And you, you lucky dog!" Minho said pointing at newt.

Brenda came into the shop and sat next to Minho "Hi!" She said happily.

"Hey!" Newt said "Sonya's willing to work on the relationship." She says happily. 

"oh Brenda That's great!" Newt says "in London!" Brenda says. 

"What?!" Newt yelled

"She wants me to move to London." Brenda said rubbing the back of her neck 

"But you live here!" Minho said and Brenda rolled her eyes "You knew that." Minho said taking a sip of his coffee.

"What-what-what are you gonna do?" Teresa asked "I don't know" Brenda sighed.

*************************************

Later at the apartment newt, Teresa, and Ben were there.

"I cannot believe I can't find a selfless good deed! Y'know that old guy that lives next to me? Well, I snuck over there and-and raked up all the leaves on his front stoop. But he caught me and force-fed me cider and cookies. Then I felt wonderful. That old jackass!" He huffed and leaned against the sofa.

Teresa rubbed his shoulder "Maybe Thomas' right. Maybe all good deeds are selfish."

"I will find a selfless good deed! 'Cause I will one day have children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Thomas is right!" Ben yelled.

The door opened and Minho walked in siting next to newt "Hey, newt? Can I ask you a cooking question?" He asked.

"Sure" newt said putting his book down "If you're cooking on the stove, does that mean that your new secret boyfriend is better in bed than alby?" Minho asked, Teresa slapped his shoulder.

"Minho!" She yelled and turned to newt "is he?" She asked 

"Well, y'know I-I-I think I'm gonna respect the privacy of my new secret boyfriend." Newt scaffold 

"Why?! I mean if this guy was me and it was me who had learned that it was me who was the best you'd ever had, I'd be going like this." Minho said jumping up onto the table and starts doing his happy dance.

*************************************

Brenda was at her apartment on the phone with Sonya.

"All right Sonya, as much as I love you, I'm sorry, I can't move to London I can't leave Chuck he's my son" Brenda said, she couldn't leave her baby, even if he lived with beth and gally.

"I understand that would be difficult" Sonya said.

"Yeah, would you please consider moving here? I mean you were gonna move here anyway, why can't you just do that?" Brenda asked 

"I don't know, it's just…" sonya said

"Oh-oh-okay, but-but I know, that even though I've been a-a complete idiot up 'til now, I mean, I mean you-you-you have to come here. You have to come here so we can work this out." Brenda said "All right" Sonya said.

"All right, did you just say all right?" She asked 

"I did. Now I'm the idiot." Sonya said "Oh, Sonya that is, that is so great. It's gonna be so great! We're gonna be like-like-like two idiots in love!" Brenda said stupidly, Sonya laughed, with her beautiful beautiful laugh. 

"Brenda, there's one thing that really scares me still." Sonya said "Yes, tell me." Brenda asked

"Well, you have to understand how humiliating it was for me up on that altar in front of my entire family, all my friends." Sonya said, she didn't like where this was going.

"And then after decided to forgive you, seeing you at the airport catching our plan with her I mean, I can't-I can't be in the same room as her! It drives me mad just thinking of you being in the same room as her!" Sonya said 

"Sonya, there is nothing between Teresa and me. Okay? I love you." Brenda said

"All right. I'll come to New York and we'll try and make this work." She said "Oh that is so great! That's-" Brenda said when Sonya cut her off  
"As long as you don't see Teresa anymore."

*************************************

At the apartment Brenda was telling Ben, Minho, and newt about what Sonya said.

"So I asked Sonya if she would come to New York, and she said yes" Brenda said "Great!" Newt said and Ben and Minho nodded.

"No-no-no! Only if I promise never to see Teresa again." Brenda said 

"Why?" Ben asked

"What?! You can't—what did you tell her?" Newt asked 

Brenda sighed "I told her I'd have to think about it. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to make this kind of a decision?" Brenda asked

"Well, you can't just not see Teresa anymore, she's one of your best friends." Minho said 

"Yeah! But, she can't not exactly see Sonya, I mean that's her wife." Newt said back.

"Yeah that's true" Minho said 

"Yeah, but you've known Teresa since High School and you cannot just cut her out of your life." Ben said.

"That's true" Minho said again "No, you can't" newt said.

"Thanks for the help, problem solved." Brenda said flopping down of the sofa, when the phone rang, newt reached over and picked it up "Hello." He said.

"Hey newt!" Thomas said on the phone.

"Oh hey Tommy! We've been watching all day, when are you gonna be on TV?" Newt asked looking at the TV screen

"See, there was kind of a mix up in my agent's office, but I'm still on TV and that's good exposure." Thomas said 

Newt Looked at the TV "Tommy You're not on TV." He said 

"Oh, uh, okay, how, how about now?" Thomas asked waves his hand in front of the woman next to him.

"Hey, there he is! There he is!" Minho said seeing Thomas hand in front of the camera.

"Hello New York!" Thomas says as the woman bats his hand out of the way.

*************************************

At Minho's and thomas' apartment newt came inside "Hi Minho." He said and Minho turned to face newt  
"Hey" he said and stood up

"Uh, listen, I need that broiling pan that Thomas borrowed the other day." He asked 

"Oh that was yours? Uh, yeah, we used it when the duck was throwing up caterpillars." Minho said pointing at his and thomas' duck that was sitting on the TV.

"William Sonoma, fall catalog, Page 27." Newt said with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Expect it in 4-6 weeks" Minho says and newt turned to leave. 

"Umm, hey, umm, thomas' gonna be at the telethon for the rest of the day, we have the whole place to ourselves." He said 

"Yeah, so?" Newt asked

"Well I just, thought maybe you'd wanna book some time with the best you'd ever had." Minho said with his stupid shit eating grin.

"Y'know what, champ? I think I'll pass." Newt said he was still pissed at Minho 

"Why?" Minho asks wrapping his arm around newt's waist, newt pushed his hand off and turns to him, face red with anger.

"Why?!!" He yelled and hops into the living room and started imitating Minho's happy dance.

"What's your point?" Minho asks with a sour look on his face.

*************************************

Thomas was still at the Telethon when his phone rings and he answers it.

"PBS telethon." Thomas said in a bored voice

"Hey Thomas, I just wanted to let you know that I found a selfless good deed. I just went down to the park and I let a bee sting me." Ben said on the others line.

"What?! What good is that gonna do anybody?" Thomas asks

"Well, it helps the bee look tough in front of his bee friends. The bee is happy and I am definitely not." Ben says 

"Now, y'know the bee probably died after he stung ya." Thomas asks and the line was quite for a bit "Aw, dammit!" Ben yelled slamming the phone down.

*************************************

Back at the apartment newt and Ben were cooking and Minho is reading a magazine when Brenda came in and sat down at the kitchen table.

"Okay, that's it. I cannot make this decision! It is too difficult, so I'm just gonna leave it entirely to the gods of fate." She said and held up a magic 8 ball and started shaking it.

"A Magic Eight ball?! You can't be serious, you can't make this decision with a toy!" Newt says frowning.

"Well, I don't know what else to do. I mean, I either keep my wife and lose one of my-my-my best friends or I keep my friend and get divorced the second time before I'm 30! So-so if anyone has-has a better suggestion, let's hear it! 'Cause I-I got nothing! All right, don't be shy, any suggestion will do" Brenda yelled, no one answered. 

"Okay then. Here we go. Magic 8 Ball, should I never see Teresa again?" She asks and turns it over and reads the answer "Ask again later. Later is not good enough." She said and shakes it up again and reads the answer. 

"Ask again later. What the hell! This is broken! It-it is broken!" She said and put the stupid toy down on the table

"All right, let me see." Newt said and picked up the 8 ball "Will Minho have sex tonight?" He asks, turns it over and Reads the answer. "Don't count on it. Seems like it works to me." Newt said putting down the toy and drinking his coffee.

*************************************

Thomas was STILL at The Telethon when he answers his ringing phone "PBS Telethon." He said sleepily "Hi Thomas" Ben said on the phone.

"Hey Ben"

"I would like to make a pledge. I would like to donate $200." Ben said

"$200? Are you sure? I mean, after what Sesame Street did to ya?" Thomas said writing down on the sheet 

"Oh, I'm still mad at them but I also now that they bring happiness to lots of kids who's moms didn't kill themselves, so by supporting them, I'm doing a good thing, but I'm not happy about it. So there, a selfless good deed." Ben said proudly

"And you don't feel a little good about donating the money?" Thomas asks

"No, it sucks. I was saving up to buy a hamster." Ben said grimly 

"A hamster? What, those things are like 10 bucks." Thomas said 

"Yeah, not the one I had my mind" Ben said when the host of the show said "It looks like we have surpassed last year's pledge total! Thank you viewers! The pledge that did it was taken by one of our volunteers" he said walking over to where Thomas is sitting. 

"Mr. Thomas green" he said pointing his hand on Thomas' shoulder

"Oh, look-look, thomas' on TV! Isn't that great? My pledge got thomas on TV! Oh that makes me feel—Oh no!" He said slapping his hand over his mouth, his deed made him happy and therefore it's selfish, he covered his mouth in horror.

*************************************

At the apartment newt was coming out of the bathroom when Minho came in the apartment "Look, maybe I got carried away before. But there's something you gotta know. If I'm the best, it's only because you've made me the best." Minho said and newt smiled at him. 

"Keep talking." 

"mean I was not that good before you. But when I'm with you, and we're together, OH…MY…GOD." Minho said 

"Really?" Newt asked 

"Oh-aw my God! Now, I understand if you never want to sleep with me again, but that would be wrong. We're too good! We owe it, to sex!" Minho said putting his hands up in the air.

"Well, if we owe it?" Newt said jumping up on to Minho, wrapping his arms around his neck and legs around his waist, kissing him when he pulled back.

"Oh my… When is Thomas gonna be home?" He asked hoping they still had time.

"Well, I was kinda hoping we could do this without him" Minho said, newt laughed kissing him.

*************************************

Brenda was in her apartment, prying at the Magic 8 Ball with a screwdriver when a knock on the door took his attention off the toy.

"Hi! Are you ready? We're gonna be late!" Teresa asked letting herself in

"For what?" Brenda asked

"For Stella! Remember? She's gettin' her grove back in like 20 minutes." Teresa said with her beautiful smile that always lit up her face

"Yeah, I uh, totally forgot about that. You mind if I take a rain check? I'm waiting for a call from Sonya." Brenda asked

"Sure. I guess. Hey, I hear you don't have to go to London. Yay!" She said

"It's not that easy, there's still a lot of relationship stuff." She said siting down at the table

"Like what?"

"Just stuff. Y'know kinda what Sonya wants."

"Well, why don't you talk to me about it, maybe I can help." Teresa offered

"No. No. You-you can't help. I mean, I kinda have to do this without your help." Brenda said rubbing her eyes, this is just way to hard.

"Well, I-I know you can do that too. I'm just, I'm just saying if you need somebody to talk to… Hi!" She said Brenda smiled fondly

"Thanks." Teresa smiled back

"Brenda? Look, whatever this relationship stuff that Sonya wants, just give it to her. Come on, the bottom line here is that you love her. So just fix whatever she wants fixed. Just do it." Teresa said when the phone started ringing.

"I mean, you're gonna have to try. You'll just gonna hate yourself if you don't." She said pushing the phone towards Brenda 

"Oh come on answer it! It's driving me crazy!" Brenda grabbed the phone pulling it up to her ear

"Hello." Brenda said listening to Sonya on the offer end

"Good. Look umm, yes I've been thinking about that thing that you wanted me to do and, I can do it." She said.

*************************************

At the coffee shop, Minho peaked his head out of the storage closet, sneaking back to his seat and pretends he's reading the news paper. A few seconds later Newt poked his head out of the closet and sneaks back to his seat and sits down, both pretending nothing had happened.

"Never done that before." Newt said 

"Nope." Minho repiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Send me an episode and I'll write it!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it, send me asks on my tumblr or leave a comment and I'll do which every episode you want.


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